Revelation 12:11 - And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
I enjoy being a servant of the Most High God, but I must be honest and tell you that my walk of faith is not always enjoyable, for there are SEASONS in my life that I do NOT like. The picture shows rocks and water. Sometimes that’s how our lives would appear, as though we are in a hard and rocky place, but CHRIST IS OUR ROCK to lean on according to I Corinthians 10:4 which reads – And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual ROck that followed them: and that Rock was Christ. The water that flows illustrates JESUS AS THE LIVING WATER that would sustain us according to John 4:10 which reads – Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink: thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.
Naturally there is a Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall, likewise in our walk with the Lord we also have these seasons. The Spring and Summer are blooming seasons, but the Winter has cold and dreary days. In the Fall, people and things will fall away from your life as God ordains. As you read my testimony, I pray that the Lord will minister to you.
In my Winter season I had encountered persecutions, rejections and trials for doing the work of the Lord and also for being from another nationality. The wise servant of the Lord – Dr. Mike Murdock quotes – “The greater your assignment – the greater your warfare”. I totally agree with this wisdom quote. In my walk of faith, the warfare is sometimes TERRIBLE. The Lord revealed to me that rejection and persecutions is normal in the Christian faith. When I was encountering a season of persecution and rejection, the Lord directed me one day to a Christian Book Store. Upon arrival he led me to the Aisle and showed me a book entitled “Healing for the Rejected”. The contents of that book brought me to the realization that as followers of Jesus, we will be rejected and persecuted for righteousness sake. The spirit of accusations and rejection only brought me much closer to the Lord.
OBEDIENCE TO GOD = DEW
A few years ago, I endured a situation like JOB. Why Job? Because no one understood what the Lord was doing in my life.
The Lord revealed in a dream, where I was laying on the ground and everyone around me were looking sad, as though they were feeling sorry for me. It seemed in the dream, as though I was dead. A friend named Jane said, “Lord, Cedil can’t die now, she has not finished her work that you have given her to do. Suddenly, The Lord lifted me up from the ground and pulled me high into the air. At this point, everyone stopped crying and they were all rejoicing with me. This testimony is the manifestation of the dream.
Acts 13:2 – Separate me Barnabus and Saul for the work whereunto I have called them.
It was the Lord’s doing to SEPARATE me for the next level where he was going to take me, and this is how it all started.
The Bible teaches us that Job was an upright man before GOD, yet he experienced severe trials. My encounter started when the Lord told me to leave my job that I had for 12 years, because my season there was over. I did as God instructed. The place where I lived, belonged to the company I worked for, therefore ,when I left the job, I had to leave their apartment. I submitted my resignation and my Supervisor wished me well.
When I was told to leave the current place, at that time I had no place to go, even though I was looking for a place to rent or buy. However, a sister of mine named Shelby kept leaving messages on my voice mail, stating that she was thinking about me so much and I must call her, for she can sense I needed some help. I returned her call and told her that I had to move, but I didn’t have a place to go. She invited me to stay at her home (but only for a few weeks, because she was moving to another state in the next few weeks). I accepted the offer and moved in with her.
At this point, I give away EVERTHING that I had in my apartment e.g. furniture, kitcen utensil, Computer, etc. I had NOTHING, BUT MY CLOTHES and my car…. I praised GOD that my son was already on his way to COLLEGE. This was very difficult for him, because he could not have understood what GOD was doing in my life.
A SEASON OF BEING HOMELESS
My definition for being homeless is to be without a home. For 18 months I did not have my own home. I moved in with my friend and moved out within a few weeks. Within that 18 months, I moved 12 times from place to place. however, I did not have to go to a shelter, but the trend was…a month here, two weeks there, two months here, 5 weeks here, etc.
The Lord said to me that being homeless and moving from place to place created an atmosphere, whereby I could not have been reached on the telephone, because no one knew where I was, and as a result – I was truly separated. Reader, I love people and I love to be around people, so God had to allow his will to be done in my life, for if he had told me to separate myself, I may not have done it, but with God doing the separation, IT WAS WELL DONE!
During this time of being homeless, the Lord spoke to me in various ways.
a) I attended a Prayer Breakfast and the Pastor said – “I don’t know who I am talking to, but GOD is telling me to let someone know that my wife and I were homeless and at the end of the homeless season he blessed us with a ministry for the homeless.
b) I attended a Retreat and was seated in a session for Praise and Worship. The Teacher – Minister Joyce Jackson stopped teaching and said – “God is telling me to encourage someone today”. She continued teaching and suddenly stopped. This time she said, ” The Lord said to call YOU and encourage you”. (Hallelujah). She called me out, placed me in a circle, prayed and prophesied over me. The Lord spoke through her in an AWESOME and MIGHTY WAY!
Some of God’s revelation through her were:-
God said, stop rebuking the devil, God said, he is the one that’s shaking you, for where he is taking you!
God said, He wants you separated, because you are surrounded by enemies!
Who is an enemy? There are several definitions for an enemy.
1. An enemy is anyone who attempts to abort or stop the purpose of God for your life. This can be done through scandal, accusations, backbiting, gossipping, mockery, etc.
2.An enemy is anyone who is unhappy for your success.
3. An enemy can come into your life masquerading as a friend.
Jesus himself had enemies and he WARNED his disciples about their enemies.
God said, you have to move again! (I began to cry uncontrollably for I had just moved, and assumed that I was at the end of the season).
c) I attended another Prayer Breakfast and one Pastor called me out and said ” The Lord said you must read Job Chaper 42, because He will restore you”.
Many people did not know of my homeless situation. God really sheltered and hid me in his arms throughout this season. I could not explain what God was doing, and as a result I was even accused like JOB by some of my friends. I was told that I had to be sinning, because there is no way that GOD would allow me to experience such a situation. Reader, be very careful, take heed to the voice of GOD and not the voice of man, because when man can only see in the natural, they can divert God’s plan for your life and you can MISS GOD. It is a dangerous thing to MISS GOD.
I FELT LIKE I JUST COULDN’T TAKE LIFE ANYMORE
This was a very, very difficult time for me. I cried many, many, times, days and nights. As Minister Yolanda Adams sings – Long are the nights, the tears I’ve cried, dark are the days, though sun is in the sky. I am truly a testimony to her song – STILL I RISE. When I was at work, I would leave my desk and go to the rest room to cry. I was broken, I was lonely, I felt rejected, I was hurt, I wanted to give up and throw in the towel, I felt like I wanted to die, I said like the Psalmist David …Oh I wish I had wings like a dove so I can fly away and be at rest. I would be driving and crying, sometimes crying so uncontrollable that I did not even focus on what I was doing. Many times, the Lord himself stopped my car, and when I wiped my eyes from the tears, I realized that I was ready to hit someone’s bumper. Praise the Lord for his spirit of protection! The Lord said, my grace is sufficient for thee, when you are weak, then I am strong. This time of my life seemed unbearable, but I heard a song writer said…God wouldn’t put more on you, than you can bear, so obviously God knew I could bear this 18 months of homeless infirmity – ONLY WITH HIS STRENGTH AND GRACE!
One day I would love to meet Minister Yolanda Adams and Minister Kurt Carr and let them know how much I thank God for using them to sing those two songs that ministered and encouraged me so much during my difficult time. The song by Kurt Carr is – I almost let go and Still I Rise – By Yolanda Adams.
During this season of being homeless I tried to give my dog to someone. I had his pictures in the supermarket, etc. One day the Cashier said to me…Please do NOT give that dog away. Another person said I believe that dog has to remain with you. Whenever I cried, the dog would take his paw and place it on my shoulder, look at me in my face as if to say…IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT. The dog would even cry when I was crying. I do understand the saying – A dog is man’s best friend. Finally a friend called from Richmond VA and told me that her husband had given permission for the dog to stay with them until I can have a place of my own. Isn’t the Lord amazing to provide a home for the dog.
When I was ordained, I was homeless, now, let’s be honest – this really makes no sense right? I was studying the questions for ordination on the metro going to and from work. On the day of my ordination, I felt the presence of the Lord like never before. I was saturated by the ANOINTING of GOD. The Holy Spirit brought every answer back to my remembrance. There was NO struggle, I felt the presence of GOD so much, it was awesome.
One Thursday night my Pastor called me and told me to preach the following Sunday morning. I said ..Sure Pastor, I’ll do it. Then when I hung up the telephone, I said, Lord, where am I going to study? I ended up studying in my car, and it was truly amazing how the spirit of GOD rested upon me as I preached that message. I have come to the realization that God’s anointing will rest upon my life whether I am living in a mansion, in a den, on the street or wherever…because GOD IS OMNIPRESENT.
I REALLY PAID A PRICE FOR MY DEW
One morning I was told by the person whose home I was staying in, that I had to move within two days. I was shocked because I now had to move again. I CRIED, LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME, AND YES HE DID. I did not go to work that day, I fasted, prayed and asked the Lord what shall I do? He directed me to go to an apartment complex. When I got there the rental agent asked, “When would you like to move in? I said, “today”. She did not seem surprised, but replied, “Well we have to do the credit check, etc. She instructed me to purchase a money order for the security deposit, which I did. After I left the Rental Office, within 30 minutes the Leasing Agent called me and said ” You have been approved, you can move in today” Hallelujah…Praise God for being my PROVIDER AND SUSTAINER!
It was amazing to see how the Lord RESTORED me just as the Prophet had declared at the Prayer Breakfast. I got furniture, computers, etc immediately. Hallalujah! Amos 3:7 – Surely the Lord does nothing, Unless he reveals his secret to His servants the prophets.
Reader, I bless the Lord that night in the apartment. I could not believe after 18 months of being homeless, it had finally ended. But listen to the word of the Lord.
The Lord said to me, In Luke 13:11 the woman had an infirmity for 18 years. My homeless infirmity lasted for 18 months. He said 12 is the number for his purpose e.g. 12 disciples, 12 Tribes of Israel, 12 Gates of Jerusalem. God’s purpose had now been fulfilled in this final move. I had learnt the meaning of SEPARATION – to totally rely upon the LORD, to draw strength from him. I could not have believed so many turned their backs on me during this season, but it was God’s doing because he wanted me to TRUST HIM. I had to be delivered from placing my TRUST IN MAN and to TRUST GOD COMPLETELY.
Jeremiah 17:5 – Cursed is the man who trust in man…… 17:7..Blessed is the man who TRUSTS in the LORD and whose hope is the LORD….
We are commanded to LOVE man not to Trust man.
A SHAKING FOR THE TAKING
God had to shake me for where he was taking me. I moved into my apartment on August 3rd and had given an opportunity to PREACH in September for a Women’s Conference. The topic was REAL WOMEN TRUST GOD! HALLELUJAH! God has given me a NEW LEVEL of TRUSTING HIM. My FAITH was exalted. I believe God is who he said HE is, I believe he is the I AM THAT I AM.
The most pleasant part of this homeless infirmity is that GOD”S PRESENCE was with me all the time, even when I did not acknowledge it. If the Lord had not been with me, I would have been a candidate for the mental institution. But Praise be to GOD for hs GRACE THAT WAS SUFFICIENT FOR ME!
Reader, I truly PAID A PRICE FOR MY DEW. The purpose of persecution is important in our walk of faith, because persecution will prepare you for your purpose. Now God has given me the DEW OF HEAVEN. He has blessed me with corn and wine. Corn in the Bible in Ezekiel 36:29 is figuratively for blessings, whereas wine in Isaiah 55:1 is figuratively for the GOSPEL.
Now my relationship with the Lord is more beautiful than before. God has revealed to me that his SALVATION is free – John 3:16 but his ANOINTING is COSTLY, you must pay the PRICE. P = Persecution R = Rejection Insults = Insults C = Criticism but the E = Endurance.
Now you can understand my harvest, for you have inspected my seed. The Lord said I had to endure this, because he has prepared me for the Ministry of Healing and Deliverance. I can say to the homeless, the hurt, the persecuted, the rejected, etc …Brother / Sister, I have been there where you are, I HAVE A TESTIMONY and IF GOD HAS DONE IT FOR ME, HE CAN DO IT FOR YOU TOO. ….but keep looking up, because Psalm 3:3 tells us that God is the lifter of our heads.
PRAISE BE TO THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!
THE KING OF GLORY! THE LORD OF HOSTS!